FAQs 1 — Separate Ways™

The Questions that are asked Frequently …

What actually is a Divorce Coach?

Here's the simplest way I can put it: your lawyer (if you have one) handles the legal process. Your therapist (if you have one) helps you understand why you feel the way you do. A divorce coach sits in the space between - helping you think clearly, communicate better, and make decisions you can actually stand behind while everything around you feels uncertain. Helping you find a pathway forward.

It's not therapy. It's not legal advice. It's the practical, forward-focused support that most people going through separation desperately need. If you have a lawyer then I work alongside them.

Is this just therapy with a different name?

I understand why it might seem that way. But it’s not the same.

A therapist typically works with you to understand your past: your patterns, your history, why you respond to things the way you do. Working through any trauma. That's genuinely valuable work.

I'm focused entirely on what's in front of you. What decisions need to be made right now to get you to where you want to be. What's getting in the way of making them well. How to have a difficult conversation with your ex without it ending in a screaming match or radio silence. How to save in legal fees. How to communicate with your lawyer (if you have one). How to walk into mediation prepared rather than reactive. The work is forward, specific, and practical, not reflective.

Some of my clients see a therapist at the same time. The two things complement each other well. Different lane, different destination.

Do I still need a Lawyer if I am working with you?

It depends. I'm not here to replace your legal team if you need one. If you need a lawyer (or already have one) then I will work with you to ensure you understand the process, that you’re asking the best questions to reach your goals and also to minimise your legal fees. I was a lawyer for almost 25 years. I understand the value of good legal advice. Likewise, I am the author of an Amazon #1 selling book Secrets of a Divorce Lawyer: An Insider’s Guide for Successfully Navigating separation and saving on legal fees.

Here's the thing that I outlined in my book Secrets of a Divorce Lawyer: a significant chunk of what lawyers charge for is managing clients who aren't ready to be managed. Preparation work. Not knowing what your goals are.

Coaching and legal advice aren't either/or. They work best together -- your lawyer focuses on the law, I focus on you. I do not give legal advice.

Can you give me legal advice?

No - even when you ask nicely!

Even if I think I know the answer to a legal question, it is not my role to provide the answer. When we work together we are working together in my capacity as a divorce coach.

If you have a lawyer then I work alongside them, not across them.

I can help you to ask better legal questions, to prepare for your legal appointments and to understand the process. I can talk you through legal systems and processes and how to minimise your legal fees.

When is the best time to start working together? I haven’t even decided if I’m leaving yet …

The sooner the better. The earlier we can start working together the better clarity you will have. The sooner you start to do the work, the more likely you will have better outcomes for your future.

I can also help you with ‘should I stay or go’ type questions.

You just need to be ready to do the work. The best time to start working together is when you are ready for change.

Where are you based?

It doesn’t really matter as we will meet via Zoom and work with clients globally but FYI I reside in the UAE. I was legally trained in Australia and have lived and worked in Australia and New Zealand. I also recently spent a bit of time in the UK. I do a lot of international travel, so if we do start working together and if I’m in your ‘neck of the woods’ then I’ll let you know.

How many sessions will I actually need?

It depends on where you are in the process and what you're working through. The reality is that to get the most out of coaching (and to save the most money in legal fees) at least 6 sessions are needed. That is why it is my preference to package sessions. Regular sessions are also more likely to be beneficial for you.

Some people come for a single 90-minute Strategy Session to get clarity on one specific decision (or to check if they think I’m a good fit for them). Others work with me over several months.

To get the most out of coaching, you need to be ready to do the work. I can’t do the work for you! If you’re not ready to do the work then I’d suggest just booking for a 90 minute one off session. If you’re ready for change and transformation then let’s get going with a package.

How does working with you actually save me money? It seems just like another expense.

That’s a fair objection. Divorce is already expensive enough.

The uncomfortable reality is that a significant amount of what people spend on lawyers goes toward time that has nothing to do with the law. Unprepared appointments. Unclear instructions. Decisions made and then reversed. Conflict that escalates when it doesn’t need to. All of it costs money (usually per hour, at lawyer rates!).

A coached client arrives clearer, makes faster decisions, and is less likely to let emotion drive the process sideways. That directly reduces legal fees. You’re also likely to resolve your matter more quickly. Options may also come up during the coaching process (such as mediation) that you were not aware of. We may discuss options available to you that do not require a lawyer - which in turn will save you money.

Coaching costs money, but so does confusion and uncertainty.

Is this going to be “woo woo”? I’m a fairly pragmatic person.

Then you'll fit right in!

I'm certified by the Divorce Coaches Academy (DCA) which is one of the most rigorous coaching certification programs in the field, built specifically for divorce professionals. The work is structured, evidence-informed, and focused on conflict regulation and practical decision making. No crystals. No mantras.

We will likely have discussions around your “best self” however I promise not to play ambient music or light incense while doing so.

I want your sessions to have purpose and direction. Focus to move forward. Also, I’m not going to spend each session bashing your ex partner aggressively. That’s not my style. If that’s your preference then you can probably find a more suitable coach on Instagram ;)

What actually makes you different from other divorce coaches?

A few things actually.

Almost 25 years as a practising family lawyer means I understand the legal process from the inside. I know what your lawyer needs from you, what happens in mediation, what a Family Report writer is actually looking for. I’ve been in court thousands of times. I’ve run Trials as counsel myself. I’ve represented children in court to ensure their best interest is met. I'm not guessing at any of that.

I'm a DCA® Certified Divorce Coach, so the coaching itself is structured and evidence-informed and not improvised. Many divorce coaches have no training at all.

I'm also the author of two Amazon bestselling books on separation, grief, and the family law process.

There are a lot of people calling themselves divorce coaches. Fewer who have sat in a courtroom, read the affidavits, prepared the clients, represented children and know what the system actually looks like from both sides of the table.